02 March 2024
Around a year ago I bought a colorful patterned hat at a nearby hippie store. I'm not a hippie, I just thought the hat had a cool look to it. I wore it every day because I liked the idea of having some sort of signature item. Something people could recognize me for. I would buy pins and put them on the hat to patch up little holes that ended up appearing. I wore this hat so much that going places without it I felt kinda naked. At one point I got a new haircut that kinda looked better without the hat, but I kept wearing it anyway. I'd worn it for so long, y'know? At some point I did stop wearing it. I realized that people are better at seeing me and speaking to me if I don't always look like a character. I gotta be a person. I've got no base for these claims, I'm just kinda saying this. Anyways I stopped wearing it because I've got amazing hair, people love my hair. And my confused fashion sense makes more sense if I don't have a constant item that I wear.
In terms of fashion I think I'm winning. I just wear what I think looks cool. I've got way too many clothes, so I've got a ton of options to make strange lil outfits out of. For a while I'd collect flannel shirts, so I've got like twelve of the things. Nowadays I don't even wear flannels. I haven't done this for awhile, but one thing I'd do is wear just absolutely the maximum amount of patterns that I could fit onto my body. I mean maybe I've done this recently, I don't remember/notice. I notice that if I ever do fit into any aesthetics it's entirely coincidental and I usually will wear something entirely different another day, so I don't really fit into those things. In general aesthetics confuse me. I've thought about typing paragraphs onto my clothes, I just don't know what to write. I don't really have much to say that someone else can't say better. I want to make some point about society, but I sound weird if I don't have any sources. Like I hate the way certain things are, but it's hard to back myself up on why things are better another way.
On this website I wear a mask in my pictures to hide my face. I want to separate the Mold Moth from whatever Clara, Julia, or Edith (or whatever my name may be) is typing this right now. I'm afraid of putting too much of my identity up on the internet unless it's an account with the purpose of interacting with a few people I know, and in that case I wouldn't post anything. I might be overly paranoid because other people my age tend to put everything up there. Name, city, school, face. I believe this is because if they gain likes and followers it'd be under their own name, and all power to them if that's what they want, I just think I'd be terrified in that situation. Maybe I'm just paranoid, who knows?